By definition, self congruency means...in harmony of one's essential being. It's about congruency, internally and externally.
And so far this year, I've been on this quest to understand what authenticity means.
What does authenticity actually look like?
How does it feel to be authentic...to be who we are authentically and to live authentically?
And I've come to realize the journey to authenticity is certainly not one that's finite. It's a journey that begins with self-awareness. Letting go of the shame and resentment through healing and reclaiming our personal power that comes when we finally decide to live our truth and accept who we truly are.
We are NOT our past.
Our past, failures, and mistakes do not define who we are, nor our destiny. And as human beings, we have different parts of who we are that makes us complex, but also unique and powerful because we have the ability to be co-creators of our lives. If we choose to, we have the power to shape our destiny and change the course of our life, at any given time.
And through our own lived experience that is unique to us, we've developed certain parts of who we are that we've integrated along the way, subconsciously, in order to feel safe and to survive. We inherit certain adoptive behavioral patterns or coping strategies along the way that we leverage unconsciously. Some of the common adoptive behavioral patterns or coping strategies include people pleasing, avoidance, putting other people's needs above yours, perfectionism, and lack of boundaries to name a few. And part of this journey to authenticity is about welding and integrating all parts of us with grace and gratitude for helping us cope and survive through different chapters and seasons of our journey.
Doing the inner work and embarking on the journey to heal is essential to our vitality.
I truly believe one of the main challenges in our journey to authenticity is fear of judgment or being criticized. And this gets amplified depending on our conditioning. It gets amplified when we were raised in environments that perhaps did not allow freedom of self expression or environments that did not foster a safe space for exploration, for discovery, for trying new things and failing along the way.
It can also be through moments when we were invalidated or shamed for doing things a certain way, whatever it was. The problem with this is when we're young, especially during our formative years, we don't have the ability to reason. Therefore, we subconsciously accept the things that were said to us as true that shapes our identity as we enter adulthood - also known as our self-image.
Our self image shapes the person we become. It is what shapes our perception and our reality. And when we have this disillusioned sense of self, we develop a self-image that is unsupportive and incongruent of our goals, dreams, and aspirations - the life we want to create and experience.
Why do we end up creating the opposite of what we want in life?
Self-image shapes the lens in how we view ourselves and the world. It is why awareness around our limiting beliefs, and unearthing outdated beliefs by bringing them to our conscious awareness is essential.
When we have a poor self-image, we have very low confidence in our own abilities. We often feel invaluable, incapable, and unworthy at the root of this identity. It is what draws events and people to us that reflects our belief system - what we have accepted to be true about us, what we've accepted to be true about our capabilities, and what we believe we are deserving to have and deserving to be. It becomes a cyclical self-fulfilling prophecy where we are subconsciously co-creating a life we don't want in the first place.
The journey to authenticity is never ending and it's one we constantly have to nurture. And the more we know ourselves, the more we uncover our own limitations, and the more we begin to expand our own awareness - the more we begin to see and experience things differently. It is the unfolding process, but it's also the becoming process.
Our painful memories are our superpowers.
While it can be difficult and challenging to face our fears, our pain, our shame, our resentment...parts of us we try to suppress or hide, there's something so beautiful on the other side of the storm...and that is freedom and serenity within. This is when we feel at ease. And this only comes when we fully embrace our imperfections and the fullness of who we've become. Through our lived experience, we inherit innate wisdom that's only unique to us...gifts and talents that are meant to be shared to help others in their own journeys. This is what makes us magnificent, remarkable beings.
When we accept our experiences as neither good or bad, but experiences that have made us resilient, empowered, bolder, and valuable people - we begin to experience life differently. Embracing our flaws and experiences without judgment and seeing them as they are...as growth opportunities that connect us to our life's purpose and to who we are meant to become....is both freeing and liberating.
Bravely be YOU.
This is the essence of life. This is why we reincarnate into this world. This is what the journey to authenticity means.
It is infinite.
It is always evolving as we journey through life.
It is discomforting, yet it is the key to personal freedom.
Begin your authentic journey here and start creating a greater identity that reflects YOU, your values, and your aspirations.